Day Three: Rain paints. Bounty and mother f-ing Superman!

6.2.10

I still profess that the big ass hill is evil. Today the kids are doing a treasure hunt. I’m currently waiting in the car of one of the parents (the one who had a moment of gaseousness). I’m cold. My chest hurts and I’m wet. It’s cold enough to see one’s breath. I could kick myself for not bringing a thicker jacket. I thought to myself, “Oh, it’s summer. It’ll be nice.” No. I’ve learned that Germany’s weather can go from 30 degrees to 9 in the same week and vice versa. People in America don’t do this stuff. We’re paranoid about pneumonia. The kids not only have rain jackets, they have rain pants. What.The.Hell. Actually, it’s quite helpful. And they are going swimming later. I’m guessing they’ll also have to walk up the big ass hill to camp, wet.

We’re by a metal workshop. The man inside is dying to know what I’m up to. I feel like yelling in the worst American accent, “I’m stealing your shiz, dude!” Older people in Germany are wary of loiters. I guess they’ve lived through things that would make them so Ten minutes and then the first group will come down the equally big ass, muddy hill. I’m wearing leggings, an undershirt, a regular shirt, capris, a jacket and a cardigan. I’ve also wrapped my British Airways blanket around my neck like a cape. I’m mother f-ing superman.

This weekend we fly to Wittenberg, almost literally. We’ll get back in Magdeburg at noon and then rush off to Wittenberg. I’ve got to figure out what I’m going to say about my school. There’s so much to talk about. I think I’ll focus on this week in Guntersberg and the team-building exercises. This would be great if I was a kid, but I’m rocking the camp experience in full-makeup. I don’t “rough it.” The food was good at first, but then it turned into nothing but cold-cuts and dry bread. I’m beginning to feel sick. I’m trying to drink more water even though that’s supposed to be a no-no for foreigners.

We have a bonfire and grill tonight. Please don’t let me throw up on my shoes. Yesterday I tried something that looked like raw sausage. Even though it tasted good, I only had a little bit. It’s better to know your limits than end up flat on the floor. My system isn’t used to the same bacteria as the Germans. I’ve also been employed to translate English lyrics into German, which is difficult when the kids don’t know the lines or get them wrong. I’m glad we watched the Eurovision song contest. Everyone has Lena Fieber!

The radio just said it’ll stop raining be warm on Friday when we go dome. It’s funny because people think I can’t speak or understand German. Does my German suck that bad? As I wait for the kids, I learn it’s a bitch to find good German music on the radio. Most of it is American or in English. It’s a shame. They have nine stations, half of which are kultur or information.

I’m so damn cold. I know the big ass hill waits. The hill can go to hell. Tomorrow is supposed to be mini-golf, freizeit and disco! I think this afternoon will be free time or the grill (aka cook out). The kids are here. (11:17)

Later:

I officially hate nature. My knees and legs kill. I don’t hike for a reason. When the kids arrived, I helped set up archery. We then went up to the lake where I nearly fell on my ass as I was taking pictures. The lake is called the Badesee. Some kids went swimming in 9 degree weather and even colder water. Others went with me and Frau M to get ice cream. Hells yeah. The Eis Café opened for us. There was a very ornery husband and wife running the place. I accidentally said “Thank you” in English when he gave me my ice cream, which set his face into a Scrooge-like scowl. I discovered that “after eight” ice cream is really just mint chocolate chip. It was wonderful!


We walked along the side of the road until we came to the site of the canoes. I said I had Seekrank (seasickness) to get out of paddling in the ice cold river. I know myself. I know I don’t have a good track record with boats. They do make me terribly sick, but my lack of balance would also send me tumbling into the water. I’ll stick with archery and badminton. I can also play a mean hand of Rummy or Spades!

I’ve come across a very interesting fact. There are gyms like the one called “McFit” by my house in Magdeburg. Yes, it’s called McFit! The mascot is a giant banana who shouts the theme “A fitness hall for everyone!” from the side of the gym. Regardless of these facts, Germans tend to exercise because they want to and not because they have to. I’ll see whole families come out on bikes when the sun peaks through the clouds.

Tonight there is a big bon fire. I feel the sickness rising inside of me. I never liked camp, even as a kid. The big ass hill doesn’t make things better. My feet kill and I’m freezing because I’m an idiot who thought, “Oh, it’s summer. It won’t be that bad!” Yeah, no.

Lessons learned: Make sure to prepare for all sorts of weather. Germany can go from 14 to 30 degrees in a week and back down again. Also, be certain to bring a rain jacket and not just an umbrella. Most importantly, bring shoes that can handle all sorts of terrain. You never know if you’ll be staying in the city or hiking in the mountains.