Day Four: Paranoia, Smokey McGee and Stockbrot.

6.3.2010

Last night, we had a “lagerfeuer.” My jacket stinks like smoke, but it was fun. The men acted like real men as they gathered around the grill, cooking bolettas and wurstchen. I was on ketchup duty while another teacher was on mustard duty. It sounds silly, but I wouldn’t trust a bunch of pre-teens with a big bottle of ketcup that wasn’t exactly easy to pour. The bolettas were good, but in no way an American hamburger! They reminded me of my mom’s salmon patties. I must look up what they’re made off. Lord, what did I eat?

Later, we cooked Stockbrot, which translates to Stick Bread. Yep, it was raw bread dough cooked on a stick over a fire. The kids were obsessed with it, but I took one bite then threw mine in the fire before anyone noticed. What? There were marshmallows! Who is going to eat tasteless bread over marshmallows? Germans might be obsessed with recycling, but they don’t share that obsession with hygiene and cleanliness. All I could think of as they were passing around the plate of vegetables was, “Germs!” Oh, the dirt on those kids hands! Plus, half of the boys were sick from swimming in the lake. Poor things couldn’t speak. It was unfortunate but somewhat of a good thing at the same time. Every night at dinner they have a plate of vegetables. I never try any because of the fact that people reach in with their hands and take what they please. Some of them put food back. Gross. They also go back for seconds, which would be fine if they didn’t use the same plate.

Yes, every place seems to be a buffet. I’m curious to see what the German hosts will think of America. I joked and said to go to Wal-Mart. Everything you need to know about American consumerism lays within the walls of that store. We want things bigger, cheaper and available 24/7. Oh, the American way! In Germany, you better have everything you need before 6 pm. Some stores boast that they stay open until 8! Whoa! Americans are a big, badass mixture of (often times) mismatched things.

Tip of the day: Germans don’t like to waste anything! Older people also believe that it is bad luck to leave food on your plate. Keep this in mind when trying new things. If you’re not sure if you’ll like a new food, then only take a little at first. Also, don’t be afraid to ask how the recycling and the trash works. It’s better to be curious than to put glass in the bio bin!


(Click to Enlarge)



The view from the camp




Where the kids can play. There was basketball, rock climbing, table tennis and of course soccer!



The mountains!



I have never before seen a Tante Emma Laden. It turns out that this is like a general store. Before the time of Wal-Mart, people would go to the local Tante Emma (Aunt Emma) and pick up things they needed. The stores were so small that only one person, Tante Emma the shopkeeper, would work there.



My cabin decided to name themselves "The Coca-Cola Seven" because they thought it sounded very American. And how!



We did some "grillen."



The smoke billows forth!




The veggies. I've seen kids bring whole tomatoes or bell peppers to school and eat them like apples. Strange.



Of course you need your Brotchen, mustard and ketchup. One never needs to ask for spicy mustard here! It's delightful!



Everyone had sticks. I had no idea why. Then, I discovered the obsession that was Stockbrot.



The men try to be cool around the grill, but the women really know what it is about.



The lake where we went canoeing.



Waterfall



Oh no. Dill + Boat does not = success.



Bounty is Germany's answer to Almond Joy. I've learned that, like Almond Joy, people either love it or hate it.



Everything tells you it's good and good for you. Hmm. It tasted more like Tang to me.



Typical German num nums. Brotchen with meat and cheese.




The kids were learning from Axel about how to paddle.



My Popo was nass. Note the superman cape.



Herr K helping with the boats.



I have found an actual cigarette machine. Oh, my. It turns out that you have to swipe your ID to get it to work. They looked at me like I'd hit a puppy when I said these weren't allowed in America anymore.



Cappuccino and mint chocolate chip!



Yeah, the owner didn't like me very much, but that's okay.



Walking along the road to the boats.



The kids begin to dig for the treasure. Mein Schatz!



Gummy bears ahoy!



They had to follow directions and track down where the treasure was buried.



The big hill where we shot arrows and where I nearly fell.



Walking up the hill.



The lake where kids went swimming in 9 C degree weather!



The Selke river.



A church near the clearing.



So much mud!



Where is it? Where do we go? Onward!

Day Three: Rain paints. Bounty and mother f-ing Superman!

6.2.10

I still profess that the big ass hill is evil. Today the kids are doing a treasure hunt. I’m currently waiting in the car of one of the parents (the one who had a moment of gaseousness). I’m cold. My chest hurts and I’m wet. It’s cold enough to see one’s breath. I could kick myself for not bringing a thicker jacket. I thought to myself, “Oh, it’s summer. It’ll be nice.” No. I’ve learned that Germany’s weather can go from 30 degrees to 9 in the same week and vice versa. People in America don’t do this stuff. We’re paranoid about pneumonia. The kids not only have rain jackets, they have rain pants. What.The.Hell. Actually, it’s quite helpful. And they are going swimming later. I’m guessing they’ll also have to walk up the big ass hill to camp, wet.

We’re by a metal workshop. The man inside is dying to know what I’m up to. I feel like yelling in the worst American accent, “I’m stealing your shiz, dude!” Older people in Germany are wary of loiters. I guess they’ve lived through things that would make them so Ten minutes and then the first group will come down the equally big ass, muddy hill. I’m wearing leggings, an undershirt, a regular shirt, capris, a jacket and a cardigan. I’ve also wrapped my British Airways blanket around my neck like a cape. I’m mother f-ing superman.

This weekend we fly to Wittenberg, almost literally. We’ll get back in Magdeburg at noon and then rush off to Wittenberg. I’ve got to figure out what I’m going to say about my school. There’s so much to talk about. I think I’ll focus on this week in Guntersberg and the team-building exercises. This would be great if I was a kid, but I’m rocking the camp experience in full-makeup. I don’t “rough it.” The food was good at first, but then it turned into nothing but cold-cuts and dry bread. I’m beginning to feel sick. I’m trying to drink more water even though that’s supposed to be a no-no for foreigners.

We have a bonfire and grill tonight. Please don’t let me throw up on my shoes. Yesterday I tried something that looked like raw sausage. Even though it tasted good, I only had a little bit. It’s better to know your limits than end up flat on the floor. My system isn’t used to the same bacteria as the Germans. I’ve also been employed to translate English lyrics into German, which is difficult when the kids don’t know the lines or get them wrong. I’m glad we watched the Eurovision song contest. Everyone has Lena Fieber!

The radio just said it’ll stop raining be warm on Friday when we go dome. It’s funny because people think I can’t speak or understand German. Does my German suck that bad? As I wait for the kids, I learn it’s a bitch to find good German music on the radio. Most of it is American or in English. It’s a shame. They have nine stations, half of which are kultur or information.

I’m so damn cold. I know the big ass hill waits. The hill can go to hell. Tomorrow is supposed to be mini-golf, freizeit and disco! I think this afternoon will be free time or the grill (aka cook out). The kids are here. (11:17)

Later:

I officially hate nature. My knees and legs kill. I don’t hike for a reason. When the kids arrived, I helped set up archery. We then went up to the lake where I nearly fell on my ass as I was taking pictures. The lake is called the Badesee. Some kids went swimming in 9 degree weather and even colder water. Others went with me and Frau M to get ice cream. Hells yeah. The Eis Café opened for us. There was a very ornery husband and wife running the place. I accidentally said “Thank you” in English when he gave me my ice cream, which set his face into a Scrooge-like scowl. I discovered that “after eight” ice cream is really just mint chocolate chip. It was wonderful!


We walked along the side of the road until we came to the site of the canoes. I said I had Seekrank (seasickness) to get out of paddling in the ice cold river. I know myself. I know I don’t have a good track record with boats. They do make me terribly sick, but my lack of balance would also send me tumbling into the water. I’ll stick with archery and badminton. I can also play a mean hand of Rummy or Spades!

I’ve come across a very interesting fact. There are gyms like the one called “McFit” by my house in Magdeburg. Yes, it’s called McFit! The mascot is a giant banana who shouts the theme “A fitness hall for everyone!” from the side of the gym. Regardless of these facts, Germans tend to exercise because they want to and not because they have to. I’ll see whole families come out on bikes when the sun peaks through the clouds.

Tonight there is a big bon fire. I feel the sickness rising inside of me. I never liked camp, even as a kid. The big ass hill doesn’t make things better. My feet kill and I’m freezing because I’m an idiot who thought, “Oh, it’s summer. It won’t be that bad!” Yeah, no.

Lessons learned: Make sure to prepare for all sorts of weather. Germany can go from 14 to 30 degrees in a week and back down again. Also, be certain to bring a rain jacket and not just an umbrella. Most importantly, bring shoes that can handle all sorts of terrain. You never know if you’ll be staying in the city or hiking in the mountains.

Day Two: Head Cheese, Gasious Tension and Berliners

6.1.10

It’s the second day of camp. My God, it’s been a hard day. The kids woke up, met in the conference room due to the rain, and then went to breakfast. I have tried headcheese and liverwurst. The first was like a ham flavored gummy bear. The second tasted really good. After breakfast, the kids had free time followed by a lunch of hotdogs and potato wedges. The ketchup is weird but good! It, as with the mustard, doesn’t taste or look like a science experiment. I learned Germans eat hotdogs with roasted onions (much like fried onions), mayo, and pickles! Ew! I’m trying to be open minded about new foods. When else will I get a chance to do so?

I have officially told the big ass hill to fuck off. When you’re walking up the steep hill and the kids are complaining, then you know it’s a big ass hill. I haven’t been drinking enough water so my legs are cramping. Plus we just went hiking in the mountains last weekend. Before that, I spent the entire day walking around Leipzig.

Since it was raining, the kids did indoor activities. First we had team building exercises. The kids did an egg drop followed by a funny activity I’ve never seen before. A flat square of wood is held up by several strings, which each child holds taunt. On the underside of the square there is a hook which catches on one of five blocks of wood. The kids must stack the wooden blocks upon one another. One person gives instructions, which the others must follow. Some kids have to loosen the string while the others must hold them tighter. It took two tries, but they did it!


Then the kids went to the Freizeitzentrum. There were rooms with different activities. We filled bottles with sand, which I lost. They could also play pool or air hockey. I sat talking to Frau M about public and private schools in the US while the girls painted ceramic flowers. I explained that private schools can be competitive. Sometimes they’re harder to get into than colleges. However, just because you can pay doesn’t mean your child will have a spot.


After lunch the kids took turns climbing the rock wall or going through a tunnel maze, which I did. You have to wear hard hats and with good reason! I had to crawl under a wall, climb up into the ceiling then down a narrow tunnel where I thought I’d get stuck.

At snack time (Kaffeepause) the kids celebrated Jonas’ birthday. They told stories, ate candy and sang songs. Then the kids learned how to use a compass. I learned how to operate a compass in girl scouts, but I’ve never really had to use one! I’m the last person they’d want to help them through the woods. Tomorrow they are doing a treasure hunt. I live in the age of GPS, map quest and google earth!


Sometimes I have no idea what’s going on. Only this morning did I start speaking English to the kids. Then I realized what I was doing. I suggested Wednesday be English day. Oh, yes. All English. Some kids have started to speak to me in English but I think neither of us thinks about it when we talk. Jasmin speaks so fast! By the time she gets to the end of her sentence, I forget the beginning!


At the end of the day, we come together in a circle to say what we’ve learned. One of the kids, Willy, and some other boys were confronted by some kids from Berlin. They started flipping birds and called Willy the N-word. It makes me sick to see that. I was with my girls by our cabin when I walked outside and saw the two groups come together. I had no idea what was happening. When I saw the Berliners kicking the soccer ball away, I began to walk over. Before I could get there, the other kids’ teacher had arrived.


Later that night, the kids went to the disco where they had so much fun. I think we all did. The hill and I didn’t have fun on the way back, but it is my mortal enemy. Damn hill. The DJ had a camera and kept taking still photos of me. I think he was infatuated.


I’ve never seen so many ghetto white boys in my life. I found one that was drinking a Coke like it was a 40 and I kept following him around. Finally, I was able to take a picture! It was like being in a gang of over-privileged kids! “I’m from the ‘hood, yo!” What ‘hood? “Uh, the Upper-East Side?”


We were talking about the incident with the Berliners when one of the parents let out a loud, um, fart. Yes, he farted! The funniest thing was that calm little Frau M couldn’t stop laughing, which made me laugh uncontrollably. I hate to say it, but this gassy event broke the tension.